THE MUCKRAKER
by Sunshine Lollypops Klainebows
Summary: Brittany S Pierce reveiws episodes of Glee in the McKinley High Muckraker with her own personal stance on what went down.
1. Michael

Students of McKinley, the ghost of Michael Jackson is roaming our school. Why he'd want to be hanging around a load of children and teenagers I have no idea but it made for a thrilling week.

It began in the hallways as it so often does when Mercedes complained (as she so often does) about having missed the chance to do Michael at sectionals. She's been talking about Michael for weeks now; which I think she's doing to distract herself from thinking about Sam – but more on them later... Anyway after a brief chat with Mr Schu it was agreed, New Directions would do Michael for Regionals. It was at this point that MJ's ghost first entered McKinley, possessing Blaine and then the rest of us in New Directions, I mean how else can you explain a spur of the moment performance of _Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' _where we all looked like Michael? I didn't realise this was a ghost power.

At the Lima Bean Sebastian Smyth declared war on New Directions with his and the Warblers intention to steal Michael Jackson for themselves. I feel bad for the Warblers, since Blaine departed Dalton they've been left vulnerable and without adult supervision they've been duped by a guy who puts the _dic_ in dictator… and just about anywhere else, at least that's what's written on his Craig's List ad. Oh and Sebastian if you're reading this, trash talking Kurt about wearing 'boy clothes'? You're one to talk, you constantly wear a schoolboy uniform you admitted to spilling juice over (wine is juice, it comes in cartons like juice). Just saying…

New Directions decided the only way to settle this was on the street (well car lot - dancing in the road is dangerous readers). With moves we recycled from West Side Story we served them during a dance battle to _bad... _unfortunatelySebastian decided to take it a little too literally and attempted to slushy Kurt. But Blaine in true romantic fashion, jumped in the way to save Kurt's outfit. He took a full hit to the face and was blinded by what I can only assume was dark magic. Like seriously 'school in Paris'? Tell the truth you were expelled from Slytherin weren't you?

After the attack Blaine might loose an eye and everyone lost their cool – surprisingly Artie seemed the most pissed but I guess he knows what it's like to be disabled. Anyway the ghost of Michael focussed his energy on Artie and was able to reanimate him, like some kind of thriller Zombie. He just got up and started dancing with Mike and I think it must have taken a lot of effort cause it zapped all the colour out of the room.

Kurt was obviously super mad and worried too, in fact I think the whole thing must really be getting to him because I saw him repeat outfits twice this week.

He brainstormed ways to get back at him with Santana and the tramp stamp idea seemed like a good one but something tells me Sebastian already has one. In the end they decided to take the high road and Santana duelled him in song to _Smooth Criminal_ (I'm also pretty sure the ghost of Michael followed her, did you see that shadowy figure in the rafters?) She finally got a confession out of him - he'd put rock salt in the slushy.

When by the end of the week we called him and the Warblers in to settle things he seemed pretty cocky that we couldn't prove anything but Santana had recorded the whole thing on a tape recorder which I taped to her underboob (I got the idea cause she likes to hide dots there for me.) No-one seemed impressed about it though and Santana made a good point that if Kurt had taped it to his junk we'd be singing about it for a week. I mean I could totally imagine us writing an original song about it, might even be better than _My Headband_:

_Sebastian Smyth is a criminal chipmunk,_

_We caught him with a tape taped under Kurt's junk._

Not only were we able to prove that we know more about Michael (after all we'd all been possessed by him this week) but we were finally able to erase the smirk off his face and at last the Warblers have realised what a douche he is.

With Sebastian rendering our favourite puppy Blaine blind, he might have to change his career path of becoming a Seeing Eye dog but. Maybe he should just marry Kurt as he's well on the way to making his Broadway dreams come true. During class yesterday Burt Hummel our congressman took timeout from (actually I don't know what congress men do) to bring Kurt his letter. After changing rooms more times than even he'd change his wardrobe he opened his letter from NYADA – and he's a finalist! Burt was so happy he even begged if he could tell Blaine – does he want Kurt out of the way cause he's scared Blaine might get him pregnant with gaybies?

Trust Rachel to make it about her though, when Kurt told her the news she flipped out and she ended up crying in the corridor because she _still_ hadn't heard from them. This is karma for trying to rig the student election – she should have had more faith in our magical unicorn, who was obviously going to get through. Although when she admitted that all she had going on for her was her boyfriend, I did kind of feel bad, I mean I think I'd cry too if all I had was Finn. This combined with another needles Finn song seemed to spur her on to make a decision about Finn's proposal and she said yes… Oh Rachel what will your fathers say? She should have taken Quinn's advice and said no, she's obviously pretty smart if she got into Yale.

They're not the only one's with romantic drama this week, as I mentioned before Mercedes has been trying to ignore Sam who's been putting the moves on her since he came back to McKinley. He rigged the board to spell her name out in lights, which was a super romantic gesture and they sang together – obviously singing was the aphrodisiac of the week because like Rachel Mercedes melted over Sam like a chocolate sauce on a vanilla Sundae. Something tells me next week he should be keeping an eye out for angry giants.

Everything resolved itself by the end of the week and I believe Michael Jackson's ghost was finally able to cross over, well at the very least we've decided not to do MJ for Regionals after all the drama but luckily is seems like the Warblers are with us on that one. It's only three weeks away and we still don't have a set list – why are we never prepared? I think I'll finish my _Kurt's Junk_ song and see if Mr Schu wants to include it. Until next time Muckrakers!

Cheerio!


	2. I Am Unicorn

The Muckraker: I Am Unicorn By Brittany S. Pearce

What's up Muckstar's – it's Kurt Riding his rainbow Unicorn in the sky, ready to unleash the contents of his bulging pink fun sack! You heard it here first, Kurt Hummel is running for Senior Class President, and he's not the only one – but more on that later. I did promise an interview with Coach Sue on her Campaign but she and Becky were in too much of a rush trying to return Mr Schu's hormone replacement pills before he got back and told me to go away. He returned as I was leaving though and didn't seem too happy they'd borrowed them, I think he was confused cause he didn't seem to think they were his. I'd have gone back to help straighten it out but I'm finding those 2 totally exhausting this year, and it's only been 2 weeks.

Artie, Coach Beiste and the Guidance Counsellor are co-directing this year's School Musical _West Side Story_. Blaine and Kurt both want to play Tony and it seemed like it was going to cause friction until Blaine reminded Kurt he was a junior and the role should probably go to a senior. I always thought Blaine was older cause he looks about 25 but then he dresses like a 5 year old boy in an ice cream shop so maybe he has that disease like Jack where his body grows faster than his head. It's super sad but Kurt looks more baby-faced everyday so maybe he's like Brad Pitt and he'll grow backwards and they can meet in the middle.

I wasn't sure about Kurt's first audition cause the scaffolding reminded me of the bars my parents used to put on the stairs so I couldn't climb them when I was 12. But when I heard about his 2nd audition making out with Rachel on a mattress (was that the same one Mr Schu slept on 2 years ago? cause I think it might be cursed) - I knew he'd totally be able to bring the full force of his manly unicorn horn! Artie also told me how Beiste was his own personal Jim Henson, which is crap because I turned Artie into a real boy last year when I took his virginity. But I digest.

As usual Rachel brought her usual brand of insanity to her audition, towards the end pulling the kind of face Lord Tubbington does when he yawns after a big meal. Before the audition she was seen laying into new teacher Miss Shelby about… well something, she gets really shrill when she's pissed off; that girl seriously needs to get that wicked broom out of ass that Santana said she's storing in case she ever needs to audition for the wicked witch of the west on short notice - it's making her super hostile. I hope Mercedes gets the role but she won't be auditioning 'til next week cause Mr Schu brought back Booty Camp. She can park and bark any time, I love to dance around her like she's my own brand of magic fire. But Mr Schu has totally gotta fix Finn who's violent dancing was bad enough to take out the wicked witch of McKinley herself in Born This Way. He made some progress by the end but I'm still gonna keep the length of a Miley Cyrus restraining order away from him in group numbers.

Blaine was last to audition with his rendition of 'Something's Coming' – which Santana said if it was as hot as his performance of 'It's Not Unusual' they'd have to change Something to Someone – I didn't really get it but I was kinda distracted by the rumour of Puck going to see baby Beth At Miss Shelby's flat. Apparently he took a picture of a Pig Clown he drew for her which was super cute but not at all accurate, cause clown pigs have curly tails all over their heads. He wants to be in her life more but I don't know where he'll have the time after he promised to take me on a trip to MANdaLAY. He's not the only one, the idea of being in Beth's life was enough to pull Quinn out of the skank gutter and back into the New Directions. Everyone thinks she's changed but after knowing her for years I can tell she's definitely up to something…

Shelby's also started a rival show choir of all girls headed by last weeks super star Sugar Motta. I was really bummed cause she's almost as talented as Ke$ha but I did manage to find out the secret to her power and that's Ass Burgers. I'm going to the cafeteria after I write this to see if they improve my voice.

With Kurt doubting himself I decided it's time for a Girl to Rule the school so you've heard it here first Muckers – Brittany S. Pearce is running for class president as well. When I asked myself for a comment on Fondue for Two, only dust came out. I'll have to work on my campaign before the debate.

I'll be back next time to keep you Muckers in the loop of what's going down at McKinley – for now-

Cherrio!


	3. Mash Off

Readers you should have been dodging the hallways this week: the insults, comebacks, dodgeballs, paper balls, boy balls and monkey poo were flying everywhere (but no slushies for once).

We started the week rocking out in class with Puck who was 'Hot for Teacher' it was so much fun. I think as part of my campaign I might have to insist on musical numbers in all classes. I think he might have been singing about Shelby because didn't they make out like a couple of weeks ago? He's been following her everywhere, just like that flat black girl who follows me and copies all my moves. Everyone's been super frisky lately, is something in the drinking fountains? I did note that Finn was wearing Kurt's sunglasses during the number, you know the ones Blaine threw to him when he sang 'It's Not Unusual'. Finn's now added thief to bullying on his douchebag CV – now he has all the credentials to become a dictator or a gym teacher – and that was just the first of three strikes this week – and someone is indeed out!

New Directions and Trouble Tones were smack talking all over the school until our leaders stepped in with a Mash Up of "You and I/You and I". Luckily it was not a stroke but a stroke of genius when they announced a mash off between the two glee clubs. But battle of the bands was not enough for Finn and Santana who decided their differences could be settled by the only civilized way things can be in high school – Dodgeball. The balls were flying everywhere and not just the dodgeballs – I think it might have been a mistake to lend Blaine some of my shorts. After a brutal war the Trouble Tones won – naturally, well Finn kept singing 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' and Santana kept singing she was 'I'm Gonna Gettcha'… all I'm saying is it kind of seems like it wasn't really a contest. Sadly the balls didn't stop flying at time out and my fierce femes took out little Irish Rory. Kurt rode to the rescue and called out all the girls, and he was right, with all the violence already in this school we shouldn't be turning on each other, Kurt's gonna make such a super mama when Blaine knocks him up.

It isn't just the students of McKinley that are going head to head, Sue has upped her campaign by trying to take down hot hot DILF candidate Burt Hummel. She's been spreading lies on TV from saying he has a baboon heart to saying he's sexually assaulting cars, also that he had a Donkey Bride (but then this might explain why Finn is such an ass). The politics didn't stop there, McKinley High had the debate with its four candidates: Rick the Stick, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry and yours truly. Let me tell you, you do not want Rick to be your senior class president, the only stick he has is in his name, trust me I know. Unicorns are peaceful creatures but they have the horn for a reason and when they need to put up a fight they do and Kurt is fighting to stop violence in the school by banning dodgeball. Kurt seemed kind of pissed about the my little pony thing but it is true, I sent them a picture of Kurt's face last year because I wanted my little unicorn to inspire future children, like all the ones Puck is clearly making cause he never wears a condom. Next it was Rachel's turn, she and Kurt have been fighting since Rachel Berried the knife right in Kurt's back, but in true Rachel style she made a show of herself and ultimately dropped out of the race telling everyone to vote for Kurt. I'm surprised she didn't use it as an opportunity to sing, that girl loves the microphone more than Blaine likes to jump on furniture.

Rory was nervous but excited to get the lead in New Directions performance of 'You Make My Dreams Come True/I Can't Go For That" This was at the suggestion of Finn, but he took over pretty much the whole thing and Rory just dueted on a verse with Tina, who still has yet to sing an entire song – is it cause she doesn't know enough English? I suppose between Rory and Tina they can just about cover a verse. Not only that but after bullying Blaine and saying New Directions don't wear Blazers he was a hypogrith and totally wore one in the number! And that was Finn's last strike! But it wasn't him who was out it was Santana when right in the middle of the McKinley hallways he outed Santana in front of everyone. Your voice carries Finn, maybe not in the way your girlfriends can to chipmunks, dogs and mermaids but enough that everyone in school heard. Even though I think Santana should come out it was up to her to decide when and Finn was a total jerk.

All the hate came to the boil at the end of the week and burnt Santana when following Finn's outburst Sue and Burt's rival Reggie 'the sauce' Salazar posted a video outing Santana and questioning Sue's family values. I don't understand this man at all, if you're into the same sex how is this not good family values? You're having the sex with the same person? My uncle is married and he has sex with a lot of other people and his goat and he's a terrible father to his kids and his goat. Burt and Sue need to rally to take out thisjerk, maybe they should take a lesson from us and mash up. After our winning performance of "Someone Like You/Rumour Has It" Santana boiled over and slapped Finn, like in front of everyone. Usually I don't tolerate violence but I made an exception because Finn has had it coming all week… well since school came back in September.

I'm ready for a week off, this drama is seriously exhausting…

Cheerio!


	4. Hold On To Sixteen

Muckraker Issue 4:

HOLD ON TO SIXTEEN

by Brittany S. Pierce

It's December in Ohio but before we can start writing our lists for Santa and stalking our crushes with mistletoe we've got to fight in the trenches for the sectionals trophy. It's all out war and as per competition tradition there are sex scandals, fistfights and more glitter and bowties than at a fairies wedding.

As you've probably worked out from the lack of spontaneous Barbara Streisand numbers in the hallway, Rachel has been MIA this week following her suspension for stuffing the student election ballot box. I'm so fed up of people calling me stupid – Thanksgiving was last month Rachel and you're supposed to stuff turkeys not ballot boxes! It must have taken forever to clean the mess out - no wonder you were suspended. This also meant she couldn't compete at sectionals so New Directions were madly scraping the barrel for new singers to plug their Swiss cheese of a show choir. Even with those ghost kids from the school band they were still short so Finn suggested they ask Sam who turns out has been in Kentucky all this time. I assumed he must have been working with chicken if he was in Kentucky but apparently he's been working with sausages, cause he's been stripping under the name of White Chocolate to help his family. He decides to return to McKinley and to celebrate this he and the New Directions got together to sing 'Red Solo Cup' – a total rip of my song 'My Cup' – I'd sue if I knew how to use a phone to call a lawyer.

Sam was later corned in the hallway by Quinn who still hasn't turned down the temp on her hot mess. Did we cut part of her brain out when we gave her that haircut in New York? He's the second guy in as many weeks to turn her down flat and she proceeded to try and get Shelby fired by spilling the beans on Puck and Shelby's sleep over scandal. But Rachel kept pestering her until she realised it was kind of the best thing in the long run for Beth, like that she didn't end up on the streets. Maybe Quinn should just adopt Rachel and then it'll be like she and Shelby swapped their babies, plus she can teach her all the things she obviously didn't learn as a kid, like to share and not be a shrill whining baby.

Sebastian invaded Klaineland at the Lima Bean, and when Blaine withdrew to get more coffee Kurt took the opportunity to instigate war. They shot insults back and forth like rainbow pong, but Kurt topped with his last comeback: "You smell like Craig's List." My little pony burnt Sebastian like Puck does to those little soldiers in math. They played nice on Blaine's return but as he was leaving smirky meercat Sebastian warned Kurt to take care of his Warbler – so the Battle for Blaine is ON and one things for certain; we've not seen the last of Sebastian. Maybe I should consider throwing my hat in, after all it's not cheating cause the plumbing's different - right Santana?

Blaine's been keeping it pretty dapper but he's been quietly simmering for a while now over Finn's non-stop hissy fitting. However the gelmit finally cracked during rehearsal when they were working on their dance moves. They were trying to come up with something new and Blaine suggested a spin - has anyone else noticed how much he likes to spin? Maybe he keeps his bowties in one of those jewellery boxes with the little ballerinas… Anyway, Sam thought they needed to put the sex into sextionals and proposed doing 'body rolls' but Blaine was not down with it and pretty much called Sam a whore. A fight broke out and Blaine stormed out Rachel Berry style to beat off in the gym by himself - why won't Santana stop laughing at this? I know she's hoping Blaine will open a branch of fight club here at McKinley so she can punch the moustache off Rachel's face, but he won't talk about it, now who's being hissy... Anyhow Finn followed after Blaine who called him out on his douchey behaviour, leading to Finn apologising for being such a jackass and finally admitting he was jealous of him – which we all already knew. The boys made up and spent the rest of the week bromancing, much I can imagine to the delight of Kurt who you know, not gonna lie, has probably thought about it…

Blaine wasn't the only one who had a problem with dancing, Mike and his Dad just can't agree about his future as a performer. Mike was about ready to put away his jazz shoes and let his dad walk right over him when Tina stepped up. But while she tried her best to convince him that Mike really really wants to be a dancer he wouldn't even watch the copy of the school musical she brought with him. So it seemed pretty hopeless but then while they were performing ABC and leapfrogging around the stage his dad arrived and is has finally accepted that dancing is Mike's path.

But the biggest miracle of all I think you can agree is that Tina finally sang a whole song! New Directions ultimately won and I think her song might have synched their win cause the song is super educational, although wrong. ABC isn't as easy as 123, cause counting goes on forever and the alphabet stops after like 21 letters. I also think our coach Shelby was a bit distracted with the whole Quinn and Puck thing cause she told New Direction's we'd see them on the ice – did she think this was a figure skating contest - is that what she's been training us for? The Unitards might even have won cause the girl is like a scary mirror Rachel but I think people took offence to their name, it's never cool to make fun of mentally challenged unicorns. I don't really care that we lost though cause I got to tango with Santana on stage, which is even more fun with clothes on!

After suffering world war glee the past couple of months it was good to have the week finally end in peace and best of all me, Santana, Mercedes (and even Sugar) are back with our New Directions family and just in time for Christmas. Santa you've done it again! Thanks a million, I promise I'll leave out cookies and bourbon for you like usual, as long as lord Tubbington doesn't drink it… I think he must have a drinking problem cause I keep seeing him pass out, also he's having trouble breathing but that's probably just cause of the smoking. Hopefully his New Years resolution will be to quit, mine's to be the best president McKinley has ever seen - I'm gonna do this by spending an extra hour a day on my hair.

Cheerio!


	5. Pot O Gold

Welcome back Muckrakers! I've got the ice cold scoop for you on what been going down at McKinley High this week. Speaking of ice cold, new student Rory Flanagan has been feeling the cold shoulder of the McKinley high ice hockey team. He's just flown in from Ireland and after spending the week posing as a lepracorn, was revealed to be a fraud. In fact lepracorns I am sad to report do not actually exist which I was stunned to learn. I'm still dubious as I was the only one it seems to see him singing in class 'It Aint Easy Bein' Green'. I think he must still be travelsick from the flight:

*A Handy tip for travel Sickness Muckers: motion sickness can be cured by making sure you are also in motion. I recommend dancing in the aisles – particularly single ladies but not Paper Aeroplanes - security don't like the gunshot dance moves for some reason*

The hockey team are not the only bullies roaming the school. With resident hallway troll Dave Karofsky hanging up his club new bullies are coming out all over the Lima stone. I'm sad to say this included New Direction's Co-Captain Finn Hudson who's giant self has been fee fi fo fuming all over the school. Since the arrival of new New Directions member Blaine Warbler, Finn has been taking every opportunity to shoot him down and this week was no exception. When trying to boost the team after the shock departure of Mercedes, Finn tore Blaine a new one in front of everyone- we know you're super jealous Finn cause Blaine is way more talented than you (I mean seriously - did you catch him singing 'Last Friday Night'?) but seriously NO H8! Finn went on to attack me, your future class president in the hallway but I refused to take his BS and called him out. He later repented and even built bridges by inviting Rory to join New directions so I did forgive him… but that is officially strike 1!

West Side Story was on the verge of being cancelled until Kurt's dad Burt convinced Ohio's dealers in death to donate money for ad space (You should really try their pizza, their dough is kind of dusty but that makes it really tasty!) This spurred him on to run against Sue Sylvester in the upcoming election, did you catch him on the news? He's a total DILF1! I don't think Santana agrees though, she started yelling a lot of things about Lima Heights in Spanish but she calmed down when I agreed to come over with her to Shelby's all girl Glee club The Trouble Tones. I'm sad to leave the New Directions but I'm really excited to finally get to sing with Sugar and about sugar as well – we tore it up with a super sweet version of 'Candyman'.

Puck and Quinn have been spotted spending more time with baby Beth. Word is Quinn is looking to get Beth back by any means necessary including borrowing my hot sauce (great for getting out stains of cherrios uniforms!) to plant in Shelby's house. But Puck had a change of heart and took back the stuff she planted. Rumour has it he and Miss Shelby might be making a new baby if their alleged kiss is indeed true! Please note readers: like we learned about the lepracorn the stork is also made up. This ads to my list of mythical creatures that don't exist: lepracorns, storks, Easter bunnies and taxidermists. Thank Beiber unicorns are real! Speaking of which my favourite unicorn was a little MIA this week but my sources tell me he will be getting a LOT of action next week, something to do with Blaine voting for him? He is running for senior class president so this makes sense I guess.

Tune in next time for all the muck that's fit to rake!

Cherrio!

1 Dad I'd Like to Facebook:


	6. YesNo

Welcome back McKinley high muckrakers! Christmas is over, we're back at school and I've got to tell you there's been some creepy sights already. For one I saw a massive white poofy ghost in the hallways, it was singing and these two zombies were following it trailing something red, I think it was freshmen blood… total horror show and that's not the half of it.

I thought there'd been a murder in the hallways cause there was all this blood everywhere, but it turned out to be social suicide as Sam's joined the synchronized swim team. Rick the Stick and his band of icepricks gave him the cherry slushy treatment - I don't get why they think it's so lame, I know they secretly figure skate, like with the sparkly outfits and dirty dancing lifts. Anyway, Sam's just doing it to get back into favour with Mercedes who both spoke up about their _summer fling._ I think he's doing it for the mermaid angel but she only seemed interested when he looked hurt, perhaps he should try washing up in front of Mercedes to get some tail. You're going to have to try harder than that my little fairytale creature because she's been kidnapped by a very big mean giant.

Sam's not the only one playing games to win affection, Becky set her sights on Artie this week. Isn't there a cheer code not to go out with your fellow cheerio's ex boyfriends? Santana's right she's a conniving bitch and I'd really like to hear what's going on in her head… Maybe she just wants to be the new _Bartie. _It really seemed like they were hitting it off until Becky sent him some super secret special pictures, which he then showed to Sue… anyone else a little creeped out? I know he was looking for the best way to dump her but there is a line, I guess maybe you can't see it from your chair. Anyway don't feel bad Becky I tried that with Kurt when we were dating that one week and he was kind of freaked too - I guess blonde cheerleaders really just are too intimidating. Luckily some gal palling and ice cream with Sue took the edge off their joint burns (Coach Beiste eloped? I'd talk about it more but that seems to be all the information we've been given unfortunately!) They're kind of cute together kind of like a fluffy little baby bear and super angry PMSing mama bear - shame their friendship would be called _Sucky._

On the flipside we saw a lot of _Winn_ - the student teacher friendship with ick factor… But I'll get to that in a minute because the big news this week was that Mr Schu proposed to Miss Pillsbury! She's that red haired lady who keeps asking me to draw pictures so she can show my parents what's wrong with my head. I thought I'd have to draw a new one when he came into class and wrote 'Marry Me?' on the board, the idea of him proposing to me creeped me out more than my Uncle and his goat...

Anyway what he really wanted was for us to come up with romantic song ideas for the proposal – not surprising he wasn't romantic enough to come up with his own ideas, after all it pretty much took an accidental proposal from Miss Pillsbury in the teachers lounge to even plant the idea of marriage in his head. The girls focussed on what it's like to meet the love of your life with their rendition of 'The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face' – (Santana reminisced about meeting me ) while the boys focussed on _sex…_ I don't think they've even done it yet, was 'Moves Like Jagger' really the best idea? Shame on you Artie and on that note also never encourage Mr Schu and his erm 'rock star hips' - my twitter was totally flooded when **everyone** in school requested it to _please_ stop! In the end it was Sam's idea of 'We Found Love' – an awesome aquarian number, that got Will the answer he was looking for.

Anyway back to _Winn – _Mr Schu took Finn ring shopping (it's a mystery why he'd take Finn, who dresses like a toddler, when Finn's stepbrother has more style covering his body than skin) and asked him to be his best man. Over rings Finn told him he was thinking of joining the Army, and as much as I secretly might like him to get blown up I don't feel safe in the hands of a boy who thought he could get a girl pregnant in a hot tub (and before you say anything readers, storks are in books and on TV, there are not cute cuddly cartoons of people getting babies from hot tubs.) But Will held an intervention to put a stop to that idea, turns out Finn's dad isn't so hot either, pretty much like Finn. After this setback he decided to follow in Will's walking on water footsteps and proposed to Rachel who failed to comment on her decision – perhaps there's still enough time to stage an intervention for her and make sure she doesn't make the mistake of saying yes.

And that's the dish of the week Muckrakers, next on the menu is a Warblers reunion served with eggs benedict and a tall icy glass of initiation for Blaine at last.

Cheerio!


End file.
